What drove you to choose comedy, when you could have been a mechanic or a doctor or something decent like that?
I could never have been anything decent.

What's your favourite fashion accessory?
An earring, but I'm not saying where it goes.

How has the way you look affected your identity as a comic?
I have four limbs and a head. Not much to work with.

Are there things you wouldn't say on stage?
No. I have no sacred cows. In fact, I have no cows at all. I buy all my milk.

Who is your major influence?
My bank manager.

Is there any figure from your past that you'd like to see in your audience? What would you do to them or for them?
My headmaster. I'd say ... "Look here, you stupid git! They pay me for this now!"

What's lacking from South African comedy, or audiences, that it remains such a small scene?
It's still relatively new, but I think it's going to get much bigger. I suppose the perception that we aren't as good as overseas comedians is difficult to overcome. It's a bollocks perception anyway.

Do you think all South Africans can all laugh at the same joke at the same time. What kind of joke would it be?
Yes. The one about the dog. Everyone loves that one.

Do you ever steal jokes?
I hope not.

Would you sell your material?
No.

Would you promise not to use it on stage again afterwards?
Is this question still applicable after the previous, insightful answer?

Which internationally renowned comic would you most like to work with? What would you do to him/her?
Joanna Lumley. Shag her rotten.

What's the most embarrassing death you've ever seen another comic die on stage? (names not necessary) Describe the incident, and how you felt.
Ian Fraser ... all the time!! How we all laughed.

Where would you like to live when you retire - if ever?
In a house.

How funny do you Really think you are?
Four inches.

Will you matter 50 years after you're dead? Will it matter to you?
Probably not. I'll be something else anyway. Do these things bother fish?

What's the interview question you'd most like to be asked, and what is the answer?
How funny do you think you really are? See previous question for answer.

Gigs

Book Robert

Parker Leisure

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