What drove you to choose comedy, when you could have been a mechanic or a doctor or something decent like that?
My hat. Yes, I'm very conscious of the stereotype.

What's your favourite fashion accessory?
My sideburns.

How has the way you look affected your identity as a comic?
I hear I use my lankiness and my big lips and eyes and stuff. I think I look kind of cute, but hey…

Are there things you wouldn't say on stage? Eg, any words you'd never use or subjects you'd never tackle?
No. Yes. No. Well, I wouldn't diss the president. I'll do whatever I think is funny.

Who is your major influence? And your major South African influence?
Woody Allen. He's my kind of guy. And Chris Rock. There are no major SA influences yet. Maybe Chris McEvoy, Mark Sampson...

Is there any figure from your past that you'd like to see in your audience? What would you do to them or for them?
There was this girl I once went out with. She had a beautiful figure.

What's lacking from South African comedy, or audiences, that it remains such a small scene?
The time. We just have to put in the time to get the audience.

Do you think all South Africans can all laugh at the same joke at the same time. What kind of joke would it be?
The one about the coca cola bottles. The one about how if you put coca cola bottles filled with water on the lawn dogs won't shit on it? I thought that was a black thing.

Would you sell your material?
Depends on the price.

Would you promise never to use them on stage again after the sale?
Depends on the price. No, give me the money! I'll know it's still mine.

Which internationally renowned comic would you most like to work with? What would you do to him/her?
I wouldn't like to work with internationally renowned comedians. These people that I'm with they're amazing people man. These are the people I should be working with. But I'd like to do Celebrity Death Match on MTV.

What's the most embarrassing death you've ever seen another comic die on stage? (names not necessary) Describe the incident, and how you felt.
There was this guy on stage, he was so terrible. Right here in the armchair, short guy with platform shoes talking crap, and I haven't laughed like that for a long time.

Where would you like to live when you retire - if ever?
New York, shagging beautiful women. But Cape Town's cool for me right now.

How funny do you Really think you are?
Sometimes I think I'm extremely funny… I pass.

Will you matter 50 years after you're dead? Will it matter to you?
If I'm famous while I'm alive, it doesn't really matter.

What's the interview question you'd most like to be asked, and what is the answer?
Q: How are you A: I've got a bit of a headache, but cool.

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