What drove you to choose comedy, when you could have been a mechanic or a doctor or something decent like that?
St. Paul's letter to the Corinthians: "Seek worldly tomfoolery and dis thy neighbour, and you shall be bestowed upon with fast cars and easy women."

What's your favourite fashion accessory?
The eyepatch I wear on Christmas day.

How has the way you look affected your identity as a comic?
Fucks up my tall, white man image.

Are there things you wouldn't say on stage? Eg, any words you'd never use or subjects you'd never tackle?
Advanced chemical kinetics. I dropped out in my seventh year and there's always a group of drunk chemical kineticists in the audience, swearing and correcting my math theory. Especially at Snowy's. (Goda: Snowy's was a venue in Kenilworth, Cape Town, where the audience arrived drunk and may not have made it home, which is probably why it closed. There was nobody left alive to drink there).

Who is your major influence? And your major South African influence?
Eddie Izzard, Dillon Moran and Rich Hall. South African influence? Biltong, I guess.

Is there any figure from your past that you'd like to see in your audience? What would you do or say to them or for them?
My late grandmother. I'd give her flowers on stage and sing "Jetplane". She loves "Jetplane".

What's lacking from South African comedy, or audiences, that it remains such a small scene? (this question is a little outdated...)
Penguin side-acts. They're funny if you just give them a chance.

Do you think all South Africans can all laugh at the same joke at the same time. What kind of joke would it be?
Anything Barry Hilton says. That's how fucked up we are.

Do you ever steal jokes?
Only from Sean Wilson. He started. ...Did too!

Would you sell your material?
I respect the body God gave me.

What's the most embarrassing death you've ever seen another comic die on stage? (names not necessary) Describe the incident, and how you felt.
This Moari midget with a prairie dog on his shoulder tried to drink a glass of vinegar and threw up on the entire front row. I'm lying.

How funny do you Really think you are?
Funny.

Will you matter 50 years after you're dead? Will it matter to you?
I don't think I matter now and I won't spend valuable time in the afterlife sulking about it.

What's the interview question you'd most like to be asked, and what is the answer?
- I say, dear chap, do you have the time?
- Why yes, good sir. It is half past twelve.
- Cool beans.

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