What drove you to choose comedy, when you could have been a mechanic or a doctor or something decent like that?
The only other job I'd want is a porn star. Thats pretty decent work.

What's your favourite fashion accessory?
Tattoos

How has the way you look affected your identity as a comic?
'Cos I look mad, people expect hard comedy. Especially when they see how huge my cock is.

Are there things you wouldn't say on stage? Eg, any words you'd never use or subjects you'd never tackle?
I try not to say cunt, cos my dad beat the shit out of me for it (age 4)

Who is your major influence? And your major South African influence?
All the old school vegas comics and of course the dice man South Africa: Mel Miller

Is there any figure from your past that you'd like to see in your audience? What would you do to them or for them?
My old tech lecturer who said I'd never make it when I dropped out. I'd get 500 people to call him a twat.

What's lacking from South African comedy, or audiences, that it remains such a small scene?
Conviction in their material and the realisation that it is an art form... and of course groupies with big tits.

Do you think all South Africans can all laugh at the same joke at the same time. What kind of joke would it be?
Yes...physical comedy is universal...or my bit about Madiba getting buttfucked in jail.

Do you ever steal jokes?
No

Would you sell your material?
I sell my body.

Would you promise never to use them on stage again after the sale?
No. Fuck off. Its mine.

Which internationally renowned comic would you most like to work with? What would you do to him/her?
Leno. I'd moon him on his show.

What's the most embarrassing death you've ever seen another comic die on stage? (names not necessary) Describe the incident, and how you felt.
A guy at open mic at the laugh factory - he did a bit in drag and his cock was hanging out the bottom of his mini skirt. I cringed and nearly puked.

Where would you like to live when you retire - if ever?
Fiji

How funny do you Really think you are?
donno

Will you matter 50 years after you're dead? Will it matter to you?
I dont give a fuck... as long as I had fun.

What's the interview question you'd most like to be asked, and what is the answer?
(The whole swedish womens volleyball team)
Q:"wanna hop in the jacuzzi?"
A: "No, i am engaged, but you can suck my..."

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