What drove you to choose comedy, when you could have been a mechanic or a doctor or something decent like that?
My mother, she used to make me bunk school & stuff, also I tried to be something decent but I find early mornings are much more pleasent when you sleep through them.

What's your favourite fashion accessory?
A pair of glasses that Mel Miller gave me, and my brown jacket - it's a chick magnet.

How has the way you look affected your identity as a comic?
I look through the above mentioned glasses and that's made me much more punctual

Are there things you wouldn't say on stage? Eg, any words you'd never use or subjects you'd never tackle?
I'd never use the word glookenheim 'cos it doesn't exist, otherwise anything that I find amusing is fair game.

Who is your major influence? And your major South African influence?
English comedian Milton Jones, locally every working comic but Joe Parker, Mel Miller and Darren Maule have probably been the main ones.

Is there any figure from your past that you'd like to see in your audience? What would you do to them or for them?
My grandad 'cos he always appreciated my sense of humour.

What's lacking from South African comedy, or audiences, that it remains such a small scene?
The ability to laugh at ourselves, and open-mindedness and in some cases intelligence.

Do you think all South Africans can all laugh at the same joke at the same time. What kind of joke would it be?
Robert Fridge tells that one about the dog...

Do you ever steal jokes?
Everybody does in one way or another, but its much more rewarding when your material is your own.

Would you sell your material?
No, not unless huge amounts of money where involved

Would you promise never to use them on stage again after the sale?
No!

Which internationally renowned comic would you most like to work with? What would you do to him/her?
Either Eddie Izzard - comedy genius, or Steven Wright 'cos he's the king of dead of dead-pan, I don't think I'd do anything to them - unless they stated it.

What's the most embarrassing death you've ever seen another comic die on stage? (names not necessary) Describe the incident, and how you felt.
Me and two other comics once did a breakfast gig at a casino in the free state, and only one person was listening out of about 400, I think we were the pioneers of backround comedy.

Where would you like to live when you retire - if ever?
I'd stay in Johannesburg.

How funny do you Really think you are?
I don't know - when I get my laughometer back I'll send you the results.

Will you matter 50 years after you're dead? Will it matter to you?
I hope so, no I'll be dead...

What's the interview question you'd most like to be asked, and what is the answer?
Q: So, Chris is there any truth to the rumours of you being in involved in a foursome with Cameron Diaz, Cindy Crawford and Margret Thatcher?
A: No, Cindy Crawford was not involved.

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