Note: image links to source
Roast lentils stuffed with lentils: Being a peace loving veggie, Jesus Christ is likely to cook up a delicious birthday meal of sweet potatoes, lettuce, beans, and probably lentils. Why like kill when you can... like...cultivate, dude.
Image part-source: www.jesus.com
Click the pic to date, bath with, or get to know the Lord's boy better.
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Having trouble spending your bonus? Choosing your gifts? Get the answers to all your shopping problems from the Birthday Boy Jesus Christ himself!
What would Jesus buy?
 Mineral water, but He'd turn it into champagne
Disinfectant for hands, head, feet, pancreas
A sensible cardigan for fitting in at Christian gatherings
His Holy Name engraved on a grain of rice
Cosmetic tweezers (splinter removal)
A dream catcher
Six nuclear missiles. That should do it
He'd try to buy the Bible, but be unable to find the proper version that includes the bit about when the zombies attacked the space aliens
Doc Marten sandals - comfortable, yet stylish
1x new three-blade safety razor
Not a cross. Definitely not a cross (bad memories.)
A copy of Hustler, 'cause celibacy is harder than it looks
"amnesia" by Radiohead
Related articles:
The God and Religion archive
 
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Satire Tis the season to get fucked out of your head
